And a very merry christmas..

Merry Christmas! With finally a break from school and the New Year around the corner, I thought it would be the best time to update. School is school. lol One year mark is approaching and so is my first clinical rotation. I’m being sent to the Chinese Hospital in SF. Although, I’m nervous as hell, I am excited none the less. I’m learning so much in school every day and I still feel like there is so much more I need to know now. The stress of it all has been giving me anxiety. Winter break right before clinical rotation is most appropriate.

This winter break has not been going as planned. Originally, I had plans to finally let my hair down and wild out. Unfortunately, I’ve been struck by this nasty cold that has left me at home in bed all week. Being at home isn’t so bad though. I’ve caught up with my favorite shows and it’s nice to actually sleep early and sleep in since I’ve been sleep deprived these last couple of months. The best part is waking up without a hangover.

On another down side, I have to admit I have been a little on the negative side. Actually, I’ve been a lot on the negative side. Most of it is derived from my unfortunate bitterness that I’ve held on to. I use to think that my bitterness and anger is where I got my strength from. Although half of that is true, I’ve come to realize that my bitterness is also what is preventing me from actually being happy. Sounds cliché, I know. I guess the part of actually realizing it on my own instead of having someone tell me a thousand times is what finally makes sense in my head (if that even makes sense).

Anyway, on my attempt to embrace positivity once again, I’ve decided to try and correct my state of mind. First, I’ve decided to stop caring so much. Sounds simple enough, but I’m not the first to admit that its pretty f***ing hard. I guess my approach to this would be to take a minute and re-evaluate my logic of thinking when I find myself stuck in a rut. Like most people, when I’m angry or “stuck”, I forget to think and I let my emotions take over and handle the rest. I want to practice thinking and mastering logic over emotion. Secondly, I can’t stress this enough, but I really need to focus more on myself and the people that matter. It’s interesting because I’ve learned a lot about myself this year and I’m discovering more and more what kind of person I really am. I seriously surprise myself. lol I also need to really focus on my family and friends that I’ve taken for granted. And finally, this goes hand in hand with focusing on me, but actually to better myself. The more I focus, the more I learn, and the more I learn, the more I can better from it all. I’m always all for improving myself in every aspect, but I really want to make this my main focus with an open mind this time (besides school of course). 

To sum it all up, my official New Year Resolution of 2012 is to stop my whining and complaining and to be better, not bitter. 

Wishing you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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3. desynchronizing said: There’s so much goodness surrounding you and those unfavorable moments you have here and there can’t possibly weigh you down, so carry on my love!
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